Arm and Arm

January 17, 2013

Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.
Psalm 85:10

If you’re like most married Americans, your relationship likely resembles one of these three positions:

Face to face. Like typical newlyweds, this couple is cruising down the highway of life in a convertible with the top down. A favorite CD is playing love songs through the speakers while their fingers are intertwined. She rests her head on his shoulder, and he plants an occasional peck on her cheek.

Side by side. This couple has traded in their convertible for a minivan. With toddlers strapped into car seats, with sippy cups rolling around on juice-stained carpets, their relationship is showing signs of strain. It takes everything they’ve got sometimes to stand beside one another as they make it through the day.

Back to back. Like ships passing in the night, this couple now drives his and hers cars. Their house is more hotel than home. Friction, harsh words, verbal jabs, and anxiety have replaced whatever amount of intimacy used to pass between them.
Most likely, you’ve experienced a little of each of these–perhaps all in the same week! But Barbara and I have discovered that the position that holds the most lifelong promise for a marriage is actually arm in arm–walking together at the same pace. In the same direction.

It means mutually figuring out the unique rhythm of your marriage–making the investment to know each other so well that you’re able to walk in lockstep together.

If you’re face to face, enjoy and give it time. If you’re side by side, keep working at it. Even if you’re back to back, there’s hope. God is in the business of making all things new . . . and putting husbands and wives arm in arm.

Which one of the four positions best describes you right now? Why? How can you better connect arm in arm and grow together as a couple?

Pray for warning and protection from anything that could threaten to back you away from each other. Pray also that God will show you how you can better walk arm in arm with your spouse.


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